Saturday, October 15, 2005

Everybody's Doggin' Harriet

Everybody hates Harriet.

Feminazis hate her because she is religious and servile, which are the real reasons why she has no husband, no kids, no casual sex even, and a myopic interest in her career and advancement?

Religious righters (not to be confused, as is so often done, with Natural Higher Law proponents) hate her because she's not conservative enough and they don't know where she really stands on the "fundamental rights" to Abortion and Gay Marriage, the new basis for measuring one's committment to liberty?

Lefties (being confused about what we actually do and do not have rights to) hate her because they don't know where she really stands on the "fundamental rights" to Abortion and Gay Marriage, the new basis for measuring one's committment to liberty?

Smart people around campus hate her because she isn't smart enough?

Less enlightened people hate her because everybody else does?

I haven't heard anyone just come out and say it yet, but I think I know why everybody hates Harriet. She's just one old, ugly elite-but-not-the-right-kind-of-elite, successful, religious Republican (dear God!), having no justicial philosophy, kinda weird bitch.

Of course, a lot of the justices are old, ugly, elite (the right kind), successful, weird, politicians. And they do have justicial philosophies to boot. Like the kind of philosophy that holds rights are gifts from the government, like property. And the kind that guarantees your money and profit belongs to someone else. And the kind of contradictory philosphies handed down in Grutter and Gratz.

I guess that still leaves "religious Republican." Too bad the religious Republicans hate her too.

Why can't we just have another nominee whom we all understand so clearly as John Roberts? Now there's someone we can all get behind, totally different from that enigma Harriet. That John Roberts is one handsome, manly, elite (the right kind), religious Republican, great justicial philosophy having, pretty weird, stud-muffin.
That must be just what we're looking for.

Boy, I guess Bush really screwed up with old Harriet?
She's just not what we're looking for.

1 Comments:

Blogger AndSheTookOff said...

Guess Harriet couldn't handle the heat...

9:49 AM  

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